To Love
by ilikeitiloveit19
Summary: Wanderer/Ian. Oneshot


_Love_. I remembered the feeling from when I was in Melanie's body. It seemed more like a constant pulling of what she wanted most, rather than butterflies. When Jared had touched me it was a scorching fire that touched my skin and messed with my already out of control senses. Jamie was a completely different type of love. It was between two people who were more like friends, except we were brother and sister, Melanie anyhow. She would always protect him and cared the most about him. This is what confused me the most. How could Melanie, or any human, harbor two types of love? Was it beyond me? Someone who had lived nine lives and was now on their tenth?

The start of my tenth life was relatively easy. The beginning was the end, but this time it was not horrific, almost calming. Pet had barely recognized what was going on and I was glad. I would hate to have the guilt lingering over me, although the humans insisted that they would never let me go and would go to any extent to give me a host. Especially Ian. I felt myself blush just a little bit, or was that just the heat from the caves? No. It definitely was not. He never let me out of his sight for more than an hour the first few days after the insertion. I told him repeatedly that I was not going to leave him or the caves but that did not calm his already high nerves. I could not blame him. I left him that night…after he told me he loved me. I made Melanie promise to watch him. If there was anything I regretted it was leaving him in his room alone, not saying goodbye. Love. In this new body, my love for Jared had vanished. When I met his eyes, I just felt a familiar pull towards him but it was not as strong or even close to Melanie's. I realized this pull was friendship. However, when my eyes landed on Ian my heart seemed to soar, almost out of my chest. A million scenes of us flashed through my head at top speed. At last the best memory stood at the front of my thoughts. "but I love you". The feeling was exhilarating and seeing him next to my cot only made my heart soar higher. He immediately took me in his arms and took me to his room, our room now he explained. I could just stare into his eyes that night and smile. I knew then that I truly did love him and he truly loved me.

Three months later and my presence in the caves had ceased to cause any kind of discomfort to anyone. Burns often came by and I was grateful for his friendship. He knew how I felt and had many of the same views on humans. Often when we were talking in the mess hall Ian would walk by and I would smile at him and he would smile back only afterward shot a menacing look at Burns who looked bewildered and amused. Later that night I explained he had nothing to worry about. I giggled at his expression and then kissed him. The familiar fire lit our bodies and I could not help but melt into it. Ian was the most honorable and beautiful man inside and out. We made love that night. I had a feeling it would be awkward but that erased once he told me he loved me. I never got tired of those three little words. It made this world better than any other I had been on and was glad the humans saved me. Raids kept coming and going and we found more humans. It was amazing every time someone new came to the caves. A new personality to meet. Ian insisted I stay and took Burns on all the raids. I felt somewhat betrayed but in this new body, I could not blame him. I looked so tiny and childlike.

A year later, I was throwing up every morning and started to have weird food cravings. Ian remained worried but I just brushed it off as a bug or flu type illness. After I had missed two periods, I knew I was pregnant. I confirmed it with doc first, not wanting to break Ian's heart if it was not true. The night he returned from a week raid I told him. At first he looked horrified and I felt my heart sink. I knew we were not ready for this but there was not anything to stop it. Then he swooped me in his arms and spun me around and around, laughing and smiling like a cherished cat. We lay facing each other that night talking about our hopes and worries. He promised he would not go on any raids, even though I insisted that he should. His excuse was he wanted to be there every moment during the pregnancy. My heart swelled and tears formed in my eyes. Yes, this was love. We made the announcement the next day at breakfast. Everyone was excited. There had not been a baby in the caves since Freedom and she was almost seven now. Kyle was the most excited. Maybe it was because he was becoming an uncle or that there would be another O'Shea running around here. Ian just laughed and said, "That's Kyle". Months passed and my belly grew. I thought I looked oddly proportioned but everyone insisted I looked positively radiant and glowing. On my ninth month doc and Ian confined me to bed rest. I grew absolutely restless and bored but Jamie and Melanie often sat with me telling me what was happening in the "outside world" as Jamie put it. One night I felt horrible. My back ached and my head hurt beyond words. Then my water broke and I shrieked in horror. It was time.

Three hours later I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Ian was beyond tears, smiling at me while I held his son. Our son. Doc had left us to spend some time alone as a new family. I let Ian name him. I wanted our son to have a human name, after all, I had lived with so many assortments of names on the other planets and I wanted to add another human name to the caves. After testing out the names Chris, Ryan, David, Alexander, and Paul, he settled on the name Aidan. Aidan, little fire. It rolled of my tongue nicely and was a beautiful name. The other name he decided on was Drake meaning dragon. I gave him a skeptical look but he explained that the stories of the dragons were his favorite. Aidan Drake O'Shea. Love swelled in my chest and Ian situated himself on the tiny cot to hold his family closer. Yes, I finally knew how humans could love more than one being with their whole heart.

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My first story for The Host. i am up for any kind of critisism and i only wrote this in an hour so... Reveiw!!!


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